On Not Being Pregnant

Here are some things I am still getting used to being NOT pregnant.

1) I can lean over the table to reach things.
2) When I lay down at night (if I'm not already passed out tired) I put my hand on my stomach and feel for kicks. No kicks! Oh yeah...no baby in there anymore.
3) Lunchmeat. I can eat it. Yay.

Ok, short list, but I'm sleep deprived, so its OK, right?

And here is our little guy, not to impressed with learning about the Great Gatsby with Dad.

3 weeks (Its been 21 days already?!)

21:31. 21 minutes, 31 seconds. That is how long our babe has currently been sleeping, by himself, in his basket, in the other room. I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I'm hoping for a whole hour of sleep in there.  

Without further ado: Pictures since the last post.

Grainy cell phone, but love the eyes and how his arms are always by his face.

Again with the arms. And dimples. The dimples SLAY ME.

Face-timing (or was it Skype?) with our GEM of a cousin in Rhode Island.

One of my top 3 favorite pictures so far.  

Sleeping baby (of course on Mom.) See that sleepy smile? I hope to get a big one of those on camera. That would require using my camera though.

And now on to all the words.  3 weeks: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The Good: We love this kid. He is gaining weight. He can sleep for long stretches if we are holding him. He is healthy.  He can breastfeed naturally when we are [both] in the right mood.  Zach and I are balancing responsibilities mostly well and he is giving me lots of opportunity for sleep, when I can actually get a nap in. I've even gotten a shower almost every other day.

The Bad: Holy cow, diapers and wipes.  I know they say newborns go through 9-12 a day, and they are right. Sometimes the new diaper seems to last 2 minutes.  Also, breastfeeding? Um, ouch.  I use my relaxation/breathing techniques during nursing way more than I ever did in labor!  Also, doesn't like the swing or the bouncer yet. Boo.

The Ugly: Can't stay sleeping in his bed. At the first flail (swaddled or not) he wakes up and needs to be fully soothed back to sleep. In the middle of the night, this takes a while with tired and impatient parents.  So we either hold him (recliner: best purchase EVER) or, I've started sleeping by his basket so I can put my arm in there at first cry and mostly successfully soothe back to sleep without him fully waking.  So picture taking has taken a back seat to nursing, soothing, rocking, sleeping, diaper changing, and going to the bathroom.  This makes me a little sad, but I'll try to add that into the rotation as soon as possible.

Today I started my Bible Study (BSF) up again.  I needed to be at the church (nearby) by 10:30. A friend called me at 8:45 as I was wrapping up a feeding session and asked if everything was OK. "Yeah!" I replied, "I only need to change his diaper and get myself dressed. I will totally be on time!"  I was 6 minutes early.  Took the me the entire hour to get him changed, diapered, soothed, and into his car seat.  I should have just let him cry it out, but I'm not that strong yet!  And then, it turns out I should have been told 10:15 or even 10, not 10:30, so I was late anyways. :(  Anyhow, time has a whole new meaning now!  Or lack of meaning...

36:18. Still asleep!

10 days old

I've learned to nurse one handed, no hands even at times like now. (Thank you, My Brest Friend pillow.)  So I thought I would pot a little update here. Tuesday we had a little amateur baby photo shoot here at home copying looks from other websites.

Here are the results

 Getting the shot and pose isn't the easiest thing. Good thing I had 2 assistants to hold the baby up and push on the bean bag, pull the blanket tight, etc.

There are some other angles I wanted but since we were in a corner and I didn't think to twist the beanbag (to avoid the corner seam in the pic) we will have to try again another time.

See sweet pictures help me survive through less-than-ideal

 Night feelings. And the real deal is pretty cute too. I am still very emotional (translation: any harsh comment, teasing, criticism, etc could cause outburst at any time, especially if I am hungry.) just being realistic...it feels like the emotional toll of new balance at home is sometimes harder than physical lack of sleep. Although i could go for some sleep right now...

Birth story

Reading other people's birth stories always fascinates me. Now I have one to tell! Well, John's to tell...I don't remember much about my own.  Reading other birth stories while I was actually pregnant made me all teary eyed, too.  So here we go. This is a lot of words for a 4 hour experience.

John's Birth Story

Tuesday morning, 10 am: awaken after sleeping in to more severe contractions than usual. Text with a friend after a couple hours about the intensity and decide it is real labor, but being short and far apart, I think to myself, "maybe it'll be tomorrow or middle of the night tonight." No matter what, I didn't want to cry wolf with false labor pains prematurely, so I refused to let myself think I was in pre-labor. I putter around the house, take a bath, talk to an insurance person and a financial planner...

2:00 pm. Zach and I go to the mall to take my mind off my contractions. They were a lot more manageable if I was moving when they started (as I discovered by both sitting sometimes and doing chores for the past 4 hours) so we figured a bit of a distraction would be nice. We arrived at 2:15 and started tracking their frequency and duration while we were there...to realize they were 3-5 minutes apart, but only 30-40 seconds long, based on how I was measuring them.  I insisted they needed to be consistent for a hour before we called the hospital because I was so mentally convinced labor would take forever and be false at first.  

3:15pm I made it through the hour with relativly low distress, browsing phones, Weck glass containers, window shopping with Zach. The last 10 minutes of that hour were the worst where I started making horrible faces in pain during the contractions. Prior to at as long as I was moving, they were very manageable.

We call the hospital and they say my contractions have to be a full minute long for 2 hours before I should even consider coming in. They tell me in a (condescending?) voice that first labors are long. We go home so I can suffer there.

4:00pm contractions reach a minute, or close to them.  I wander through the house restlessly for 3 minutes before the next one starts and then I hug Zach or go crazy or something...until (4:45?) FINALLY I get some bleeding (another excuse given to us as a reason to come to the hospital) and we call again. They sound a bit skeptical but they finally tell Zach to bring me in.

5:00ish we arrive at the hospital and my water breaks as we walk through the parking lot. I start crying sadly over my wet pants as we get to Labor and Delivery. We are greeted by a kind nurse who I don't think had a clue how much pain I was really in.  (At this point, contractions are bad but I'm just praying I am at least 5cm dialated to make the trip in worth it.). They've been increasing in strength (i.e. i forget how to breathe during it, and all that relaxation techniques stuff is out the window...but since i have nothing to compare it to, i just get through them...). Anyhow, I go through 3-4 more contractions before the midwife gets in to check me, as they hook me up, etc. Those two last contractions I started feeling like pushing at the end and lost more water.

5:15 they are finally checking on me. I say, "I want an epidural right away and narcotics while I wait." I'm literally crawling up the bed side bars during my contraction since now I'm strapped to the monitors and can't move around.  The midwife checks me. The words I never thought I would hear at that point in time: "You are fully dilated to 10cm. We are moving you to the delivery room to push RIGHT NOW."  

I was immediately in shock. What?! No epidural?! We walked in at 10cm? No. I'm not ready for this. We only started tracking contractions 3 hours ago!!!!! NO!!!!!

So off we go to the delivery room. 6:13pm, John was born.  I did my fair share if complaining and whining about the pain (and my lack of interest in a natural birth) but apparently was also very nice and fun in there.  The midwife and nurses were amazing. Zach was a fan-waving rock star, by my side the whole time.  They kept telling me, "he is almost here!" after a few rounds of "almost"  i finally asked... "what exactly does almost mean to you?! to me it means ONE push before DONE." They laughed at that then i "almost" delivered him a few more rounds...

We didn't even have the camera because he intended to go back to the car to get our labor bag after checking me in.  There wasn't even time to call folks to tell them we were in real labor! I don't even remember what the contractions felt like in there because having the baby coming out is a totally different kind of pain/experience. I dont remember the contraction pain during pushing, only the (painful and uncomfortable) sensation of him, coming down e birth canal. With that...you don't get a break in between contractions for the pressure...well, lots has been learned by this experience!!! 

6lbs, 11 oz 20 inches long! We are so blessed!

Born!!!!!

We have a boy! 6lbs, 11oz of boy. He is wonderful. And hilarious. Birth story (a lot of words for something so short) to come soon. I will post a few more pics I'm sure and also will have a Private URL avail upon request so we know who has access to that. (Comment with an email address, etc)

1 cm and projects?

I'm dialated 1 cm and am 39 weeks tomorrow. I know 1 cm means nothing on the grand scale, so I'm not getting too excited about it. Although last week was zero, so, I do like progress!!! I Also had some cramping today, but my Doc said (convenient I had an appointment today) if I was only calling it "cramping" then it's not labor. I agree!  I'm trying to hold off as long as I possibly can with calling something "painful" so that maybe I can trick myself as long as possible into thinking the pain isn't so bad when I'm in real labor.  Right now I'm happy to use the term "uncomfortable" with my general state of being and frequent back aches, side pains, etc.  yesterday I spent a couple hours in the pool and that felt amazing...not to mention I am getting tan! I didn't know you could tan while underwater. You can. 

Over the weekend I almost finished the nursery decorations, which consists of glueing baby shower cards to foam and paper. Originally I envisioned framing them...then mounting on fabric...but I hit a point where going to the store wasn't in the cards and I just wanted to be done.  I can always upgrade these later.  I also have some banners and other shower decorations I am going to hang also.  When I get the energy to massively clean my entire house, mop the floors, etc.  why isn't Zach helping? Oh, he's working. In some sets all day...for 9 out of 10 days straight. He did take my birthday off yesterday though so that was nice! But birthdays are not chore days.

So, I could risk avoids all chores until his work is done, but then what will I do all day long while I wait? Tomorrow is my last day of work and it has been SO nice already cutting back on my hours as it is.  I could easily not work!!! If inky that earned us medical benefits though...oh well! 

Monday I drafted a super whiny and complaining blog post, you are welcome for me deleting it! I was just tired. I had labor dreams which, if you are wondering, even if you are sleeping to have said dream, it is not a restful sleep! Then every time I would wake up, I would be hyper aware of the dream and try to figure out if I really was in labor.  Not restful!!!

Ok, so, onto the pictures from the nursery. I will try to get a belly pic up by Friday.

Chocolate

Chocolate chip pop tarts.
Chocolate pudding.
Andes mints.
Chocolate sno-caps.
Chocolate skinny cow candy bars.
Mocha drink.

Those were all just purchased at our most recent shopping trip. Not to mention we already have a box of cocoa pebbles waiting to be devoured. What can I say...chocolate makes some things more tolerable. Like work stress. And filing for medical leave.

Luckily, it's not hitting my hips and butt all just yet. Here's the 38 week pic!  There is a 20% chance I could deliver this week. A girl can hope, right? Although as my friend Emily pointed out, he is a whole heck of a lot easier to take care of right now in his current state...so I need to enjoy what I have left!

Off to the pool tomorrow to give my puffy foot a circulation break!