Friday, October 18, 2013

What to do about sleep training?

John is currently entering hour 3 of a morning nap. Glorious. I couldn't stay awake when he woke to eat this morning but Zach took a nap holding shift before school when I showered (yay!) and got breakfast so I feel like a new person.

I am totally confused on what sleep training is. Is it training your kid to fall asleep in their own? I is it establishing a sleep routine, regardless of how your child falls asleep? I'm thinking that I would prefer to conquer the latter part first, and once we know what schedule John likes, then we can move towards letting cry it out or whatever. Right now we put him down and it never works. We need a baby that is sleeping well to begin with to be successful!!!  So my first plan if action is to try to make sure he gets at least a 90minute morning and afternoon nap.  According to Babywise, he should have more naps, but he doesn't seem to be a Babywise scheduled baby yet (and still sleeps thru the night 6 hours)I honestly thought that ONLY Babywise sleep scheduled babies slept through the night by this age. Big misconception!!!!! Although I thought what I read in the book about schedules and sleep was very useful and I would like to have him scheduled in the future. 

The other thing I can't figure out is when to swaddle. John still swaddles at night and not really for naps. H figs the swaddle unless he is really drowsy so during the day when I try, he just gets too agitated and awake fighting it. So we haven't really been able to test a crb nap with a swaddle. I do try to tuck a blanket tightly around him and he does seem to flail a lot.  The books and Internet don't seem to clear as to what role the swaddle has in either of the above scenarios...obviously I am scared to stop the night swaddle because we are enjoying our sleep. 

Any advice out there???


anna said...

4 months and we are still night swaddling...and he knows how to roll over (bad parents). i'm not giving it up. he can break out if he really wants to so we will just keep doing it for now. as for the sleep schedule during the day...i feel like it will just come. i don't know. we just let jack set it. he takes a 1/2 hour morning nap and his afternoon nap is anywhere from 1-3 hours. Just depends. Girl. I'm totally lost on sleep training. I think we are going to give it a break for a while and maybe wait until he starts solids at 6 months. He sleeps at night...and he falls asleep nursing fine. I don't care anymore if he can fall asleep on his own haha. For now at least. :)

Katie Lady said...

My only advice: don't take it all too seriously. Every baby is different, as is each Mommy. You are doing a bang up job--obviously! He took a three nap for you!! And he is sleeping through the night!! Just when you think you have their "routine" figured out, their schedule changes. But, that is what makes parenting not about's all about them. :/ First babies are all about trying our hand at the routine. That's why you are such a routine driven person, first born!

Emily said...

Ah, you've brought up "The Topic." I found talking about sleep with new parents is as polarizing as politics or religion. That being said, do what works for you guys and don't feel pressured by anyone else. You have to do what you feel comfortable doing.

That being said, I'd throw away babywise. I think it's unrealistic and at worst, damaging; especially for nursing moms and babies.My kids didn't sleep through the night until they were weaned (although, not all nursing babies are like that!)

And you're right, there are separate aspects to sleep training. One is your child developing the ability to self soothe and the other is sleeping through the night. My sleep bible is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It gives really good information regarding how much sleep a child needs at a specific age and seems to present equal respect for co-sleeping and crying it out.

To help our kids learn to self soothe, we used "The Baby Sleep Solution", which is a modified cry it out method. As with everything regarding kids, consistency is key.

Maia was colicky as a baby, so we also had to deal with that. We found "The Happiest Baby on the Block" to be a god send.

We kept Maia swaddled until she was 6 months old. People thought we were crazy. We didn't care, she was sleeping better and we were delirious.

I remember my doctor at the time telling me not to worry about them self soothing until they are around 4 months old. At that age, they are starting to learn that their behavior can illicit specific responses from you. Right now, John has no concept of that and just wants to be warm and cozy and safe.

Hang in there. I promise you that one day you will sleep more than 4 hours in a row. I remember standing in front of my class one semester and realizing that I hadn't slept more than 4 hours in a row for over 9 months. But, now I get a solid 8 almost every night!

Love you Christy, you guys are doing a great job. Feel free to call if you want to chat some more.